People marry for different reasons. Some marry for good reasons. Others for bad reason while some marry for the ugliest reasons. Did I say the ugliest reasons? Yes the ugliest. So, in every marriage, we have the good, the bad and the ugly. By now , you should know where to place yours or that of your brother or even friend based on what you may have seen, head or observed.
Love is sweet especially when it is in its infancy. Every marriage no matter the years of courtship is like a new born baby and must be treated as such. Remember when love is sweet? When you were courting? Or in the early stage? You head stuffs like Its amazing how you knock me off my feet. Any time you come around me I can't wait. No body ever made me feel this way. I want to know what makes you cry. Those are some lyrics from joe's song. How many men and women can relate to this feeling while courting or for those who did not court, before they got married. Those days showed that Love is real right? But some how the story is different today in many marriages. Sad right?
People get married and things change over night. Some times, the amazing thing is how very fast this changes take place. Most times, in marriages love never grow instead it stays stagnant until it begins to die. Why? People only marry for feelings and not for love or to take it a step further to friendship. Our relationship will begin with attraction, but it must grow into love and we must build that love to the level of friendship. At the level of friendship, nothing can break it with prayer and God on your side. Why will God not be on your side if you can pray. That is why Abraham was called the friend of God. Friendship is important. Your friend is the one you want to share any thing with. I mean, any thing and every thing. Most relationship and marriages never get here and that accounts for why the divorce rate increases and irreconcilable differences is all we here. Issues will come up in every marriage. couples must learn to communicate but rather than communicate, they create a distance of non communication. In a bit to find some form of external consolation or pity, they take it to the beer parlor and saloon. Did I just say that? Yes I just did.
It is a case of once upon a time that women gossip. Today, may be men gossip more. Only this time, they call it men talk and not gossip since gossip for such men can only proceed from the lips of a woman. Either way, I sincerely don't have much of an issue with the men talk or women 'gossip' as people are free to discuss what ever they want, when ever they want, where ever they want and however they want. Talk is cheap and people are free to talk because there is no bill attached to it. I do have a problem with some kind of talk though. I refer to those talk that turns what ought to be a bed room discussion into a beer parlor talk or saloon chat.
Why do people feel comfortable discussing their wife or husband at a beer parlor or saloon? And when you listen to them, they talk uncontrollably. For the men, the beer has become the Holy Spirit in them. For the women, the drier or is it the human hair they buy this days. At such places, you never hear talks on business and how to make good money or grow their life. Rather ,you hear talks that drag their partners down in the presence of people. Some times men will talk to the point were they tell friends, in an open beer parlor that they can't make love to their wife because 'that place' is now too wide. They claim not to feel it any more .They say stuffs like, she can't cook well, she does not look attractive any more, her tommy is now too big, she now ties rapper all the time, she's no longer a chick but mama, even her pant smells etc. Don't those things sound disgusting to you? Things that ought not to be a public discussion? Some people have lost all sense of dignity and shame.
To add to the above, the women are not left out. They openly speak also like a pastor vibrating from the pulpit. You hear stuffs like; He no longer come home early. His clothes are always smelling. He snores like a goat. He is not good in bed any more. He is always broke. During love making, I never come. He does not even last during love making. His duty is to shout all the time etc this talk go on and on and people are listening and laughing. Why will that marriage last?
Men and woman bring to the beer parlor and saloon issues they should trash in their bed room and not even in their seating room let alone a beer parlor, club or saloon. They talk about this things with reckless abandon thinking that those they are talking to are sympathizers or that they look at them with respect for being the Man or the woman. I wish you knew because They are not and can never be. In most cases, they laugh at you. Yes, they laugh at you. They mock you on the inside and mock you also in your absence. They call you foolish and senseless for acting and talking like a child. The difference is, you never get to hear it. Those you tell such story today will mock you with them tomorrow.
Hey, keep issues about your home in your home and Not the beer parlor or saloon. Remember this is the woman or man you once professed love to. I hear some of you even say things like; God punish love! abi na love I go chop? To people who behave in this manner I say this, most times when you tell a child to grow up, you are the one who truly need to grow up. Communication must be kept open in the home. Don't discuss your spouse outside. Remember that when the day of pain come, the only one who is always truly there is that one whom you make a topic of derogatory discussion at the beer parlor or that saloon. Wise people learn from the mistake of others and not until it happens to them. The wise also know when a word is enough. I will let you take it from here.
