HE DOES NOT KNOW THAT I KNOW...

From my mail

I am a regular follower of your  blog and I must say that you are doing so well. I sincerely wish that you can make it an every day affair or at least,  twice in a week publication because I find your views very revealing and challenging. May God continue to bless you with great wisdom.

I have been married to my husband now for over ten years. In truth, ten years and six months. Before now, our marriage was wonderful because I married the most wonderful man alive at the time I got married. As far as work was concerned, my husband used to come home early. Things  went very well and mine was a very happy home. My husband will hardly come home without buying us suyer or barbecue so every night was a celebration night. Life was wonderful. However things began to change when he was posted from his office at ikeja to another branch in victoria island in Lagos. My husband suddenly started coming home late. He will claim that the work in the new office is more tasking. At first this to me was not an issue as I had no reason to doubt him but this excuse continued for weeks, months and as I write, its been like that for over one and half year. I got curious at some point and decided to investigate the issue. My very good friend advised me against any investigation when I told her about my concern claiming that what you don't know, cannot kill you. She asked me, what if you suddenly find out that your husband was having an affair, what will you do? When she did, the first thing that came out of my mouth was God forbid. And I added, I will kill him and kill myself. Or simply park my things and leave his house with my children. She laughed and said to me, be very careful. Don't do any thing silly but I will still insist that you avoid any form of investigation and  Pray for your husband. Two weeks after that conversation, I became even more curious. I started asking questions. 

Usually i close early from work because I
work with an oil firm and my closing time is latest 5pmeven though I close 4pm most times. On this day, I decided to wait on the island without telling my husband. I wanted to pay him a surprised visit. I went to his office  at 6.45pm and was told from the gate by the security men that my husband usually does not stay in the office till 6pm and that he had left. This for me was a very rude shock but I kept my cool since I dint want the security men to suspect any thing. I left without  saying  a word order than thank you to them.

Just to make this issue very clear to you,  My husband gets home every day between 10.30pm and 11pm claiming each day that his new task was hectic. I simply wondered what could be so hectic about his work that even most night before coming home he would claim that he is too tired to eat. He would just say give me tea and biscuits. My imagination kept doubting him but   All this I kept thinking about on my way home and I never bothered to call him thinking that he would have reached home by the time I get home. When I got home that day,  I called my husband because he was not at home  but as usual, he claimed he was in the office. I said nothing. That night I could not eat. Sex for me and my husband used to happen at least three times in a week but since this issue started once in a week was war. For a very sexually active man, it made me wonder. I wondered because my husband would leave food because of sex. For the same man to now claim tiredness only made me wonder the more.

To cut this story short, I decided to pay some one to follow my husband. He came back about three weeks after with pictures, to my surprise, my husband was having an affair with a young lady in the marketing department of the same branch of his company. That lady's house is where my husband will go to every day after work. According to the findings, they would go out to eat some where and then later proceed to the house of the lady. The end part of the investigation was that,  I was invited over to see things for myself. We went in a bus on this faithful day. The bus  had curtains so of course no one saw me. Besides, my husband would hardly suspect. We waited there from 5.40pm on this day. To my surprise, I saw my husband coming out of his car with the hand of the lady in his. I felt like going out to meet them but the deal usually is, you are told not to do anything crazy. I was asked to call him and put my phone on speaker which I did. As usual, his response was that he was in the office. I said nothing. I have known this for over two months now, yet he does not know that I know the truth. As I write this mail, he is still cheating on me with this lady. 

I have resolved to go and confront the lady in her office. In fact, my plan is to confront the lady either at her office or in her house just at the time they usually meet there. My entire being is boiling with deep anger yet I have not said any thing to my husband. I plan to confront them and then divorce him. We have three children as I write. I plan to take them away from the house to where he may never suspect and  Plan their exit out of Nigeria. This is what I have decided to do, what do you think I should do? Publish this mail if you want but do respond before the first week in November.

Yours,

Vanessa.( Not her real name)

My response

I will share my response in two days here.