There are three pillars on which every marriage stand. They include;2. True Love
3. Friendship.
Every thing we write on relationship is tied to this three. I must be attracted to you before I can fall in love with you. If I don't fall in love with you, I cannot make you my friend. Most men are in love with their partners or their wives but they have failed to make them their friend vice versa. It is in friendship that we open our all to our selves because at that point, there is nothing to hide. My friend is the one I can trust with my all and open my all to. The truth is that, most of the people we call friends are so called for lack of a better word. The fact that we are close does not make you my friend. we Remember, Abraham got attracted to his God, he fell in love with him and eventually that God made it bigger by making him His friend that is why Abraham was called the friend of God. Friendship is deeper and commits all. We shall look at this in the course of this series. What ever it is, some may say you need to pray also but if I love you, I will pray for you. Every thing you want to look at in relationship and marriage hangs on those three and we shall look at them differently beginning with attraction.
In many marriages you will find one or two or three of this factors. Most celebrity marriages hangs on only the first one that is why they never last. In a solid marriage the three must be present the most important being friendship because there can be no friendship without love. Love is not enough because I can claim to love you or be in love with you but yet you are not my friend. Because you are not my friend, I cannot open myself to you. So, if friendship is real because love is the basis I will remain genuinely attracted to you. Let us consider this three road journey by attempting to describe attraction.
We all can relate to the fact that what draws us to the opposite sex the first time is
physical attraction. ok it will not be right to just assume because some also think its love. That is why some smart and intelligent ladies will consider you a joker if you meet them for the first time and you start by saying, I love you or am in love with you. Which intelligent guy does that? An intelligent lady may ask you,what do you love about me? She may even go further to add, But you don't even know who I am! Yet some other Ladies, either because they have been eyeing you for long or because they can just see in you physical attribute which they admire, once you say ' I love you', that is all they need to jump into your hands and for the very loosed ones, into your bed. Some one will say why will you say loosed? Is it not their lives? The truth be told, no descent woman jumps into another man's bed just because he met you at a party, supermarket or any where and told you I love you on the first day. Even the second day is not a guarantee. I know you will say even the fiftieth meeting is also no guarantee. I don't agree less as I still believe holding on is the best. Like my friend said before marriage, you are only qualified to naked me after you have said 'I do' I know you may never agree but that will be a topic for another day.
To continue on the above, what draws you to some one you only just met is not love but attraction. This is because no man can love what he does not know. Or let me put it right, no man can be in love with some one he does not know. Knowledge of who you fall in love with is a necessary condition for saying, I am in love. You have to know the person or at least know about the person, then you will be able to love the person genuinely or take a walk. Knowledge of the being is important to help you love that being. The truth is, most times when people say, I am in love with you, they are only in love with some thing that has to do with you physically. They are either in love with your fine face, or just your nose shape, your very white eyes or your pink lips. Other things they are attracted to may include your smile, your boobs size or how it fits on you, your body color, your body shape, your height, the way you talk, your voice, the way you walk etc. There is some thing about one or two or even more of these factors mentioned that drew that person to you and it has nothing to with whether you are a good person or not. Why? Because the person does not even know whether you are a good person or not. He or she does not know you. Its pure attraction to your physical Look. It has nothing to do with who you are. This type is very different from the case of two people who grew up together or two people who work in the same office. At least those ones have had time to see what they are like. You can not completely hide the person you are from those you live or work with. Though you may be one good expert at faking things, the intelligent ones will one day find and expose your true color. Its only a matter of time.
Let me establish a fact, the being a person is remains some thing very different from what some one looks like. What I look like does not mean that is who I am. That is why a lady may look very beautiful yet, she is not a product to take home to mama vice versa. Who you are has to do with attitude since attitude is what defines who you are or what you are capable of doing. Most guise forget this or perhaps neglect it and only dive for the physical things they can see. They don't care if she is the type that can wreck their finance or home in general. For the ladies, they careless if the guy is a 419 or ritual master as all they care about is the fact that he said he is a business man and that he is in love with them. They are always quick to forget that His fine car or fine home is no guarantee for peace of mind. Some can even tell you 'God punish peace of mind' Her beautiful height, body color, Seductive look, sweet talk, praise the Lord church style is no guarantee that she qualifies. The fact that he is a church leader, church worker, choir master, fellowship leader, pastors assistant is no guarantee that he is qualified. Attitude is what defines a Man, we must care if the person has the right attitude.
Am I writing this because you don't know this, no. I am writing it so that you will know it is important. So that you will know it is key. I know it is better to cry in a Mansion than to cry in a face me I slap you apartment. I also know it is better to cry in a range rover spot than to cry on okada. Yes I agree because which ever place you are, you will cry because the rich also cry. However know that there are some cry that make you feel better and some that only make you feel worse. However, here is my stand, a broken courtship has more honor than a broken marriage. Attraction is important and necessary but it is not a guarantee for stability in marriage or any relationship. Attraction fades. Attraction some times becomes neglected. Physical attraction is very good but not enough to sustain a life journey. Marriage is not a one hundred meter dash, its a life marathon. So while you set your mind at searching for the right person, money is good as well as beauty but note what is more important. Attraction is good but it is no guarantee. The fact is many only got married because of attraction. However when attraction begins to look at what is inside and not what is outside, it begings to graduate into love. we will discuss this later.
In part two, we will try to consider briefly why physical attraction some times fail and how we can help to ensure that we keep it oiled so it does not fail. However, I hope you got the gist on the above! I will let you take it from here.
This is interesting......
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