WHEN THE WRONG ONE LOVES YOU RIGHT.

The story of life some times leaves you wondering about so many things so much so that you are always tempted to ask questions. Questions that you most times never find answers to. As I write this brief piece, which of course is still like pieces of cloth being put together by a fashion designer, I am still asking questions. In life,as u and I know, its not all your questions that supply you answers. The journey of LOVE  has led many to a journey from where they never returned the same. You will see a lady who loves a guy so much and the guy professed the same love to her. This is vice versa. In the course of the journey, one of the two discovers so many lies. So many deception by the one who claimed to Love him or her. So many secrets and cheating take place along the journey. In most cases ( I hope am not wrong) when this is discovered, the other partner is willing to make compromises so they seat to talk. At the end of the day, the forgiven person ends up hurting the one who forgave, again and again and again. In the end, just like saying 'can't you read the handwriting on the wall ', the one that was forgiven end up backing out of the relationship leaving the other person heartbroken and devastated. Meanwhile, while all this things were going on, there may have  been another person out there loving this person. Showing and giving this person all the attention yet get nothing in return. Why? In life, Love is the one that often lead not us. We follow love, love does not follow us. Love dictates the pace. It sets the course. Love makes the bed and our duty is to lay on it. Love make us think stupid things. love make us do things that make others wonder if we don't need psychiatric attention. Love make us go crazy. Some lie to us and we enjoy it. Love says go to heal and we look forward to the journey without asking questions. The truth is that though love is that powerful, yet it is the most misunderstood, misrepresented,miss applied,mis professed word in human history. Some times what we call love is far from love. Some times when some claim they are in love, they can do any thing their partner wants even if it means offending God. At this point, love may have given way to idolatry. It is no longer love. It is not even infatuation. It is now worship.  In life, some times it is better to look deeper when we claim to love. It is better to x- ray. 1 cor 13 very well just so we can know what Love is and what it is not. Do we really know love when we see one? Can we truly recognize love?  Is love to you just sex? Physical attraction? The height? The car? The house? etc. This things some times make us miss the mark. They make us fail to see the one who truly love us. Forget my uncoordinated thought in this brief piece. Here is my question, I am not saying you are not in love. Again, it is not that, that person you love may not truly love you. It is not that you can not see the hand writing on the wall. It is not that you can not see that other person who is showing you true love. It is just that you have decided that rather than leave him or her, you would rather die. I envy your sacrificial spirit. But just consider for a moment this question, what will you do, if the one you don't see as your mister right is the one that is loving you right? Many are the eyes that look but few are the ones that see. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. My silly point is make. Ok joseph shut up.  I will let you take it from here. Joseph Ogundare All right reserved june 2012

MY LETTER TO THE ABUSED WOMAN AND TO THE MAN WHO ABUSED HER.

WOMAN I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS

That the idea behind the phrase 'Love is blind' presupposes the fact that when one is in love, he or she in most cases closes his or her eyes to that action or reaction which is seen as negative and decides to also apply the idea of love is dumb which means say nothing. The idea of love is dumb also say love is deaf. Every evil head about the one you love, does not register through your ears.

BOTH OF YOU KNEW THIS BEFORE MARRIAGE

Love is a beautiful thing. Love is a strong thing. Love is a deep  emotion. Love can conquer any thing. Love can even lead to war. Love will endure any thing. Love will give up so much. Love will make you believe in your partner even when others don't. Love is indeed very powerful.

MY PAINFUL ASSERTION

I believe in all the above plus more but here is my argument. In any marriage, when the one who loves fails to save herself or himself from a partner who keeps inflicting PHYSICAL ABUSES on him or her, if death occurs, that is not love but suicide. Quote me any where and I will defend this even before my pastor, bishop or the  pope.

MY BIG PROBLEM
Love may be every thing but not stupidity. Even Jesus did not die on the cross for nothing, He died for a reason. He died so that you and I might be saved. He did not die for dying sake. So His love was not stupid. When man therefore begins to marry love and stupidity together, I have a problem with that.

MAN, YOU USED TO TREAT HER RIGHT

A man marries a woman professing all the love in the world. At some point in the course of that marriage, the attraction he has for this same woman begins to grow cold. All of a sudden, the woman who was to him the most beautiful rose in the world now suddenly begins to irritate him. I agree with the fact that some of the factor responsible for this may be from the woman but what happened to your being a living example as a man. The man who once professed love all of a sudden becomes a living beast. Yes, a living beast. That is what I call any man who is weak enough to lift his hand and beat his wife or even girl friend. Did I say weak enough to beat? Yes.

MAN, A HARD LESSON FOR YOU

It is only a weak man that will lift his hand and beat his wife. A man who thinks he has to beat his wife to show he is a Man is not a Man. A man is the head not the neck. A man is the leader not the follower so if you had been the man-the head, the woman would have followed. You don't have to proof you are the man by lifting your hand against the woman. It takes being a real Man to hold your temper. A man is that one who sees a reason to bring out the beast in him but decides to look the other way or walk away. To abuse a woman physically is not a part of the marriage vow taken on the altar.

WOMAN, WISDOM IS POWER

Why will a woman choose to live in a marriage where physical abuse is the order of the day? Why do people do this? So that friends and family don't laugh at them. Because they hate divorce. Because of their children if children are involved. Because they are leaders in church and perhaps don't want the congregation to see them as a bad example. They don't want their home to break. Some how I understand this excuses ( many I have head during counseling) but you must stay alive to be able to profess that Love.

YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOUR LIFE FIRST

I have argued several times and in several places that you don't have to stay in a home where you are physically abused. I hate divorce but not separation if that will keep the sanctity of life. If you keep quiet when physical abuses come into your marriage, one day the world will find you dead without you being able to tell your story. A dead woman has no story to tell. A dead woman has no one to love in the grave.

TAKE ACTION NOW BEFORE HIS ACTION WILL TAKE YOU OUT.

So, if you are in a marriage where you are physically being abused or you know some one suffering the same fate, before life is taken out of you, you must have the courage to speak out. No matter how much threat is made to your life you must speak out and in most cases it is best you speak with an independent counselor and not family members. To allow yourself to be turned into a punching bag is leading your partner into deeper temptation. Help yourself and help your partner. In most cases, if you want the idea of this help to be fruitful, you may need to separate for a while. Only the living can stay in a marriage because every marriage is 'until death do us part'

I have said the little i can, i will leave you to take it from here.

Joseph Ogundare
25 june 2012
All rights reserved.

IS NIGERIA A CHARITY ORGANIZATION?

The idea of national interest in the area of foreign policy show clearly how countries  of the world relate. It shows for example how the USA will relate with NIGERIA and what will determine the principle and interest  guiding such relationship. In addition, it also shows WHY countries will relate with one another. The why becomes very important because areas of interest determines the why. No country of the world goes into any kind or type of world interaction without first asking the question, what's in it for me? The United State of America for example will not just engage in any intervention program without first looking at what is in it for them. An example is clear. In all of the period Liberia had issues, the united state failed to show interest in any form of intervention program until Nigeria decided to show up. However, because of her oil stake in Iraq, the United State did not need the approval of the United Nations before intervening. The question again is why? My answer is NATIONAL INTEREST. It is so bad that the prime minister of England or The president of the United State or even the President of Ghana will not visit Nigeria without a national interest being first considered. Why did America have to wait this long to take out Gadaffi? National interest. America's  economy and the economy of europe is bad and some thing in Libya is needed to help build back their economy so the man had to be taken out ( my sentiment please forgive me) so they can gain access. Do you think he was taken out just because he ruled his people as a dictator? Why wasn't he taken out ten years ago? Did he become a dictator recently? The answer is National interest. China will boost her relationship with Nigeria because Nigeria has become a good dumping ground for most of her cheap and inferior goods (that is not to say all their goods are cheap and inferior. Many Nigerians own a phone today thanks to them). Today we talk about china phones and even china town. Indians will not leave Nigeria because even we ( Nigerians) believe they are superior to our people so they are given free hands to rule the manufacturing industry and treat Nigerians like animals. I remember some one once told me that, right before her presence, an indian man asked a Nigerian girl to slap another Nigerian girl just because she came late to work without being interested in why she came late to work. It took her intervention to stop that slap because she had to warn the Nigerian lady never to try it. Go round the country, Nigerians are treated like slaves in their fatherland by indians. They come to Nigeria and casualise Nigerian workers and drive them like slave and yet the government is watching. How many Nigerians can go to india and do that? In to days world, if you kill a simple American citizen, your government will be made to at least explain why? That's in a state where things work. A place where national interest is the guiding factor.. In our relationship (Nigeria) with state of the world and in the way Nigerians are treated in the world, I fail to understand if the idea of national interest matter to us in any way. Our own country men and women including children are suffering in the midst of so much resources yet we spend billions of dollars claiming we are doing peace keeping abroad, helping countries to stand. The government of Nigeria spend the countries money helping other state of the world without caring if Nigerians can feed. In Nigeria today, no steady power supply, many bad roads, no security, no jobs, no maintenance culture, no good and safe transport system etc yet the government does not care. I hear speech like ' Nigeria economy is better today than it was yesterday' but I fail to see the effect in the life of Nigerian Man. Instead I know that many Nigerians have lost their jobs since Sanusi became the governor of the central bank and things have refused to work well. I know that the rate at which robbery take place today and the kind of weapons used has gone high tech. Where am I going with all this? My answer is,  no country in this world is a charity organization. The interest and needs including wants  of the people of the federal republic of Nigeria must be considered in any local, national,intercontinental or international dealings before decisions are taken. A continuous neglect of this fact may one day take us to that point where we say enough is enough ( that is if we are not there yet). A wise leader and a wise follower will read in between the lines. My point is made, I will let you take it from here. Joseph Ogundare June 24,2012. All rights reserved.