THE AFRICAN MAN AND HIS PERCEPTIONS: DO MEN STILL THINK THIS WAY?

The average african man has a lot of perception about what the 'concept woman' and 'being a woman' stand for. Quite a number have battled with so many perceptions. This perceptions are many but  I will attempt to explore some here. However, as you look at them or into them on your own, you may find much more. The average African man believes the woman as his wife is no guarantee for equality in the home. You will agree with me that most times when the african man talks, he refers to the house they both live as 'my house' and not our house. Of course he is the man.  You and I may agree that we live in this age where the woman also  believe that in the home, the rights and privileges should be fifty/ fifty. Why not? Is she not a major contributor to the home? In today's world, the woman contributes as much as the man in most home and in some, she is the bread winner a situation that is far from normal and goes against the way nature intends things to be. But for the economy and difficult life situation  due to leadership waste and mismanagement issues like this have come to stay in some homes. However, there are  african men who will never allow the woman contribute a dime in the home because they don't want any woman claiming equal right with them. For this men, there can only be one captain and that is them. According to this men, equality should not even exist in the imagination of the woman let alone in the home. Whether this is true or not, I will not make an issue here as that will stand for another day. However, I will leave you to ponder on that. Is the man and the woman equal in a marriage?  do men still think this way?Another perception the average African man has about the woman is that the woman is an object and a tool. Did I just say that? Yes I just did. A man once told the wife right in my presence  during a disagreement 'I bought you with my money, so you must listen to me' I was shock to my bone marrow. The only question I could ask my self is, joseph what are you doing here? I was actually there because some one recommended me to them since the were having some issues which seemed irreconcilable according to them.  For this kind of man, he bought the woman when he  paid the bride prize. For this kind of man, the woman is a tool to be used. She is seen as an object. I am referring to a very educated woman with

a masters degree whose command of english language is impeccable compared to the very ibotic ascent of the man ( apologies to my ibo brothers as this is a true life event). The man believes that amidst the very tight schedule the woman had, she must wash his cloth, lay his bed, cook his food, serve his food, iron his cloth, arrange them etc when will she not break down? I am talking about a man who can pay ten house helps but refused to do so on the grounds that he is married. are these things mandatory for the woman to perform? Do men still think this way?To the average African man, the woman is a mere sex object. A man once said,' what is a woman good for if not sex. He added,  the only two important things in her exist on her chest and in between her legs remove those and she is useless but with those, a man can reck even his bank account just to have them ' when I head this, fear catch me o! (Pardon my  pidgin). To this type of man, how dare the woman tell him she is tired and cannot make love to him when he wants it? How dare she complain she had a stressful day at work? How dare she tell him she has tommy pain? In fact, it is a taboo to tell the man ' I don't feel up to it' say that and all hell will let loose. Is the woman a mere sex object? Some one will argue, she was given to Adam to quench the thirst of his loneliness by warming his bed.  I may agree, but isn't there much more to the woman? Is she a mere sex object? Does she have rights?  Do men still think this way?The verage African man does not believe that the woman should challenge their authority even when they are wrong. They believe and hold firmly that  It is not in the place of the woman to challenge the man. The man believes that as head of the family, his  words are final and they are law. He is the lord of the home. He is the president, national assembly and judiciary all in one.  He has the final say. If he discusses issues with the aim of taking a decision with the woman, it should be seen as a  privilege not a right. To him, the woman can  not take decisions without consulting him yet the woman should not ask him why she was not consulted before a decision was taken. Very complex right? To this man, only a weakling discusses with the wife before taking a decision. Is this true? To this kind of men a man must act like a man and to act like a man is not to give the woman too much room because to do that will make you less of a man. Do men still think this way?   The average African man believes he has a right to cheat but the woman does not. I do not and cannot justify cheating in any way, but kindly accept the fact that I am analyzing issues here. They believe that if the man cheats and the woman discovers, she should forgive her husband without much begging. In some cases they even flaunt this on the face of the woman. Some other cases have the man threatening to take the other woman in should the wife complain much. However, if the woman is the one caught cheating she may never get forgiveness. In some cases, the man will go straight to the woman's people to request for a refund of his bride prize. I wonder why they never request for the refund of the ceremony money.  why should she get forgiveness? Is she not the woman? Believe me, it appears as though its a right for the man but a taboo for the woman. I do not support cheating but Why is it like that? Of course it is like that because she is the woman. Do men still think this way? The average African man does not think a woman is qualified to lead. To this set of men, the woman is too weak to be a leader. This is because she is perceived as being too weak when it comes to taking decisions. Again because they claim that she can be easily influenced. To this men, its a mans world. The place of leadership is not a department any woman should dare. That is not the office of the woman. Leadership is not and should never be seen as a woman's thing. How men hate women as boss  in their places  of work. According to a very matured man, the day he was moved away from a woman who used to be his boss was the happiest day of his life. He added that if you are unfortunate to be working directly under them be ready to swallow insults because all her emotional rubbish will rest on your head. This according to him is because they don't have a very good inbuilt shock absorber. But my argument was that women have been known to hold their own in leadership and I gave him examples. Hear his answer 'that is a case of just one out of every ten thousand'. That perception is deep and it also look like an extreme position for me. But truthfully, do men still think this way?The average African man does not agree that the woman has any right to ask him questions about his movement . But how dare you as the woman not be home when the man expected you to be home!  Pardon me as it is not my intention to hold brief for the woman. sincerely I ask again, do men still follow this line of thinking? I will let you take it from here.