THE LADY:HER MAN AND HIS FINANCE.

you mean we are broke?

One of the major factors  I have seen and considered  a major marriage breaker is the issue of money. Money not because the woman married a man who is broke or does not have money, but because the man, after the wedding survived only a few months or may be two years before he turned out broke. A tale that in most cases is never pleasing to the ear because many keep making the same mistake many made. The most stupid man is the one who made the same mistake he saw others make. That's because he never got the message. The best way to learn is to see what happened to others. The mistake they made, the steps they took and how they survived it. You know why we must do this? Because if that same thing or some thing similar happens to you it may kill you. This is because your state of health, mental disposition and other things that make up this being-you may not have enough shock absorber to contain it at that time. This is why you see a healthy man yesterday or some one you thought was healthy but the next ten minutes you hear he is dead. A dead man has no lesson to learn in the grave. 

We live in a generation where so many things appear very attractive to the eye  yet we fail to understand that it is not all attractive things that we need. It is not every thing that is pleasing to the eyes that should be appealing to your pocket. I like to say this as much as you do your heart, please guide your pocket and bank account with all diligence for in them come what you will need to bless today and secure tomorrow. God takes care of our tomorrow not with our carelessness and foolishness but with our diligence. Our God is a God of wisdom, so those who claim to know him must operate with that same wisdom. I say this so you don't go all spiritual to excuse your stupidity claiming God will take care of        tomorrow. If He has given you the resources to secure tomorrow today and you waste it, you may have to go a longer journey to make it right and that is because I know He shows mercy if not you are doomed.In this generation, I have seen where the woman is blamed for

the down fall of the man, an issue she knew nothing about. A down fall she never even knew was coming. Or should I say, was not her fault! Not because she dint see it coming in some cases but because she either helped to make it come knowingly or out of ignorance or she knew nothing about it at all because the man did not allow her the room to know until they became broke. Many would ask, what was she looking at till it got this bad? The woman will lament, why blame me? Is it my fault? But the truth is, its your fault in a way? Why? Because though the man may be the head of the home, the woman is still the neck. The head cannot turn without the neck. So, the neck must help the head get the direction it needs. So lady. Please do not attempt to get married if you don't know or understand this fact. Your position as wife is not only to change from MISS to MRS but to know that you have a key role to play to make the marriage a healthy one. 

I some times seat and wonder what people concentrate on during courtship. I some times ask questions when the issue start showing up. I ask questions and fail to get answers from people during counseling. Some times I ask, What did you do during courtship? Is courtship not the time to know one another? When I say know, I mean know your emotions, psychology, friends, family, jobs, attitude, temperament, character, actions and reactions, money and how you spend, money and how much you earn, money and how much you save, money and your style of buying. I mean your money culture generally. What kind of person is your partner when it comes to this area? Does he need help? Is the help within your capacity to handle? Or do you think he may need to see a professional counselor? I don't mean taking him to your pastor. In church, people cover the bad and present only the good to make themselves look ok. That is not what I am saying. I am saying you must know when your partner need help in the area of his finance. If you don't know this things about your partner ( what I mentioned there is not exhaustive) then what do you know? What do you spend your time doing during courtship? Going to the beach? Traveling abroad? Visiting eateries? Driving to exotic locations? Etc all this things are good and necessary but if you do them without knowing truly who your partner is, then you merely waste your time and in no distant future, you will be telling the world like many have already that you are no longer compatible. Or may be you will tell us its due to  irreconcilable differences but fail to admit your failure.Lady, let me help you know one truth which many don't, many men are like babies with money. They are sharp at making it but equally very sharp at spending it. In most cases on frivolity.  Most men don't believe you should save for tomorrow. They believe that tomorrow will take of itself. That was  why a young guy, while working in a good bank, got a lone and all that came to his mind is not landed property or investment but a car for him and his wife.  He spent eight millions naira out of fifteen million which he got as loan from the bank in  buying cars while still living in a rented three bed room apartment. He had to ensure the children were accorded the respect of attending the best school in the area. The class they established was not that of dangote but in their class, they were the talk of the town. The guy ensured that his wife's car was customized as per the plate number. She was the babe. The envy of her friends at events. Always well dressed and stylishly too.  However! When the bank told the guy that his services were  no longer needed, their whole world came crashing. No savings at all. The money he was paid after deduction of bank loan was not up to two hundred thousand naira. This guy almost committed suicide. That is just one story out of so many cases of extreme foolishness. your degree is not a guarantee that the job you currently have or the business you currently run will always be there. On being foolish, I said extreme because some times a man may act out of foolishness, but extreme foolishness is crazy or simply put, its madness. Lady, your man may want to please you in every thing by spending much more than he should. He may be eating up your tomorrow today by clubbing every day of his life. He may carry extended family on his head to the detriment of his bank account. Please tell him that he should do that which he can and leave the rest to God. He is not Jesus christ and can't be. He cannot play God is their lives. Even God gets jealous when that happens. Let God be God in the life of people. You keep giving and they keep wasting it. He is your brother but let him be a man. Let him grow up. He can't when you keep bailing him out. Except its a case of life and death, if the family or family member wants money, give only if you have the money to give. Do not wreck the future of your children on the altar of wanting to look like the hero before your extended family members. Do your Best not do your death. What we do most times in the name of wanting to help is doing our death and when the cheap s are down, even those family members will not be there. Rescue your man from himself. Rescue your man from waste. Rescue your man from that doom waiting to happen.Lady, know what comes in every month as income  even if your husband is a business man who hates to be programmed. Be interested in how much goes into the family's  untouchable reserve. Be interested in how finance is managed in the home. Be interested in cutting down if you cannot eliminate waste. The problem is that most women help their husband to wreck their finance. I call them show woman. Women whose only life is to show off. They live only for the moment. I pity men who have fallen into the hands of such women. Only God and they can help their situation.Don't seat down and just watch. Money is not the root of all evil, it is the love of it. Money answereth all things. Money is very important and strategically key to the survival of that marriage. Your marriage can break because of the absence of it. While you can see it, let your senses tell you what is right. Snatch your husband away from that pain of tomorrow waiting to happen. Help him manage his finance with wisdom. Remember, no one knows him better than you. Its about you as the lady. Know your man. Know his financial power and manage it well. Remember, in the home, the man may be the ceo, you are the general manager. In good organizations, the ceo is not the one who makes things work, its the general manager. The ceo merely takes the glory. Wake up. I will let you take it from here.