To start with, quite a number of people called into the programme and shared different opinions but one thing I kept hearing from some people goes like this; what I believe is this...this is what I will do etc. Let me establish here that Marriage is not about what you believe or don't believe. You did not create that institution so you cannot recreate the rules. What you should do in your marriage is not based on what you believe. It is not based on what you think. It is not based on what you accept or don't accept. Instead, it is based on what the truth is. Before I go deep into this subject, I will publish for our sake here, some examples of wedding vows taken.
These examples of wedding vows is culled from about.com and used only for the sake of what we write here and nothing more. See below for these examples.
1. Do you (name) take (name) to be your lawful wedded wife/husband? (Each responds, "I do.") Will you love, respect and honour her/him throughout your years together? (Each responds, "I will.")
2. I (name) affirm my love to you, (name) as I invite you to share my life. You are the most beautiful, smart, and generous person I have ever known, and I promise always to respect you. With kindness, unselfishness and trust, I will work by your side to create a wonderful life together. I take you (name) to be my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live.
3. (Name), I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.
I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard,
when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.
4. (Name) do you take (name) to be your lawful wedded wife/husband? (each responds, "I do.") Do you promise to love and cherish her/him, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her/him, for so long as you both shall live? (each responds, "I do.") Do you together promise in the presence of your friends and family that you will at all times and in all circumstances, conduct yourselves toward one another as becomes Husband and Wife? (Together they respond, "We do.") Do you together promise you will love, cherish and respect one another throughout the years? (Together they respond, "We do.")
5. (Name), I love you. I want to be your husband/wife so that we might serve Christ together. Through all of the uncertainties and trials of life, I promise to be faithful to you and love you, so that together we may grow in the likeness of Christ and that our home may be a praise to Him.
6. (Name), I promise to love and care for you and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love.
I will always be honest with you, kind, patient, and forgiving. But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you. I love you.
7. I (name), take you (name), to be my wife/husband, to share the good times and hard times side by side. I humbly give you my hand and my heart as I pledge my faith and love to you. Just as this ring I give you today is a circle without end, my love for you is eternal. Just as it is made of incorruptible substance, my commitment to you will never fail. With this ring, I thee wed."
8. (Name), do you pledge to love (name) and throughout your years together to be honest, faithful, and kind to her/him? Do you pledge to give to her/him the same happiness she/he gives to you, and to respect her for who she is, not who you want her to be? (each responds, "I do.")
9. (Name), with all my love, I take you to be my wife/husband. I will love you through good and the bad, through joy and the sorrow. I will try to be understanding, and to trust in you completely. Together we will face all of life's experiences and share one another's dreams and goals. I promise I will be your equal partner in an loving, honest relationship, for as long as we both shall live.
10. (Name), I promise to love you, to be your best friend, to respect and support you, to be patient with you, to work together with you to achieve our goals, to accept you unconditionally, and to share life with you throughout the years.
11. (Name), I take you to be my wife/husband from this time onward, to join with you and to share all that is to come, to be your faithful husband/wife, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond; a commitment made in love, kept in faith, and eternally made new.
I have picked quite a lot for our consideration here just to show that we have quite a number of them. However, I have not seen any one which says 'and we shall separate or take time apart whenever we both feel this will be good for us just to help us both re discover the love we have both lost ' or we shall separate or take time apart whenever we feel we are no longer looking compatible or feeling compatible'. No, I fail to see this in any of those marriage vows instead what I see continuously is that commitment to stick together in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer till death do you part. Where then lays the place of a time apart? Is the concept of time apart good? Is it right?
To answer the above, let me say this; can something stand as not right but necessary? If the answer is yes, then we can say that is what we can apply to the above. Going by the idea of marriage vows, no pastor worth his salt (I say this because I know there are pastors who will do whatever you want provided they see money or material gift) will wed you if
