MY LETTER TO THE ABUSED WOMAN AND TO THE MAN WHO ABUSED HER.

WOMAN I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS

That the idea behind the phrase 'Love is blind' presupposes the fact that when one is in love, he or she in most cases closes his or her eyes to that action or reaction which is seen as negative and decides to also apply the idea of love is dumb which means say nothing. The idea of love is dumb also say love is deaf. Every evil head about the one you love, does not register through your ears.

BOTH OF YOU KNEW THIS BEFORE MARRIAGE

Love is a beautiful thing. Love is a strong thing. Love is a deep  emotion. Love can conquer any thing. Love can even lead to war. Love will endure any thing. Love will give up so much. Love will make you believe in your partner even when others don't. Love is indeed very powerful.

MY PAINFUL ASSERTION

I believe in all the above plus more but here is my argument. In any marriage, when the one who loves fails to save herself or himself from a partner who keeps inflicting PHYSICAL ABUSES on him or her, if death occurs, that is not love but suicide. Quote me any where and I will defend this even before my pastor, bishop or the  pope.

MY BIG PROBLEM
Love may be every thing but not stupidity. Even Jesus did not die on the cross for nothing, He died for a reason. He died so that you and I might be saved. He did not die for dying sake. So His love was not stupid. When man therefore begins to marry love and stupidity together, I have a problem with that.

MAN, YOU USED TO TREAT HER RIGHT

A man marries a woman professing all the love in the world. At some point in the course of that marriage, the attraction he has for this same woman begins to grow cold. All of a sudden, the woman who was to him the most beautiful rose in the world now suddenly begins to irritate him. I agree with the fact that some of the factor responsible for this may be from the woman but what happened to your being a living example as a man. The man who once professed love all of a sudden becomes a living beast. Yes, a living beast. That is what I call any man who is weak enough to lift his hand and beat his wife or even girl friend. Did I say weak enough to beat? Yes.

MAN, A HARD LESSON FOR YOU

It is only a weak man that will lift his hand and beat his wife. A man who thinks he has to beat his wife to show he is a Man is not a Man. A man is the head not the neck. A man is the leader not the follower so if you had been the man-the head, the woman would have followed. You don't have to proof you are the man by lifting your hand against the woman. It takes being a real Man to hold your temper. A man is that one who sees a reason to bring out the beast in him but decides to look the other way or walk away. To abuse a woman physically is not a part of the marriage vow taken on the altar.

WOMAN, WISDOM IS POWER

Why will a woman choose to live in a marriage where physical abuse is the order of the day? Why do people do this? So that friends and family don't laugh at them. Because they hate divorce. Because of their children if children are involved. Because they are leaders in church and perhaps don't want the congregation to see them as a bad example. They don't want their home to break. Some how I understand this excuses ( many I have head during counseling) but you must stay alive to be able to profess that Love.

YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOUR LIFE FIRST

I have argued several times and in several places that you don't have to stay in a home where you are physically abused. I hate divorce but not separation if that will keep the sanctity of life. If you keep quiet when physical abuses come into your marriage, one day the world will find you dead without you being able to tell your story. A dead woman has no story to tell. A dead woman has no one to love in the grave.

TAKE ACTION NOW BEFORE HIS ACTION WILL TAKE YOU OUT.

So, if you are in a marriage where you are physically being abused or you know some one suffering the same fate, before life is taken out of you, you must have the courage to speak out. No matter how much threat is made to your life you must speak out and in most cases it is best you speak with an independent counselor and not family members. To allow yourself to be turned into a punching bag is leading your partner into deeper temptation. Help yourself and help your partner. In most cases, if you want the idea of this help to be fruitful, you may need to separate for a while. Only the living can stay in a marriage because every marriage is 'until death do us part'

I have said the little i can, i will leave you to take it from here.

Joseph Ogundare
25 june 2012
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